Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Nathan Bransford's contest... continued

The following is a bit more of my Middle Grade Novel, GARN... hope you enjoy!

The clanging of a not too distant bell catches Pink Eyes attention. Danny follows him in a quick swerve off their path. Pink Eyes doesn't look back, but Danny can't help himself. Behind them, kicking up mounds of dust, is a huge and thoroughly strange animal; something Danny's never seen anywhere - not even in books. It plows through and over throngs of panting, sweating, and yelling Deepworlders. From front to back it's best described as possessing the gigantic head of a dust mite with the shoulders of an Elephant and the back end of a Buffalo. Three men ride this creature. One rings a large schoolyard bell, doing his best to warn others away. Another pretends handling the reins attached to the beast's tusk-like mouth parts, and the third sits atop saddlebags full of scavenged loot which pounds against the animal's side with each ponderous stride. Through Danny's neck tether, Pink Eyes senses the boy's slowing. He turns and jerks hard distracting Danny's fascination from the creature. Danny's minds this reprimand and quickens his pace. As they pass, the bell ringer smiles and waves at Danny. Not knowing why, Danny returns the wave; maybe because it's the first friendly gesture he's seen.

Haste yee back ;-)

Story copyright of Robert Wahl

Monday, October 5, 2009

Publishing... life on speculation

Ever wonder what's it like facing a blank page - everyday? Well, lookie here ---------------->

Yep, which way to go? There are as many words as leaves on those trees. Which are right? How do you tell? Should I use that one, or that one over there? Path? Right way? Geeze, this is hard. And no one's pointing me true north! What if I get lost and end up wondering like this the rest of my life? Hey, you chose it. No one said you had to.

Maybe I can find some help!

Ahhh... there she is! The good ship Literary Agent. Look at her, sailing so confident. Oh, she must know the way. She must! But, how do I get aboard?
I know...

I'll throw her a Query! One wretched soul trying to get noticed. Yep, that's life on speculation! Ya just gotta love it.

Haste yee back ;-)
Artwork copyright of Robert Wahl

Monday, September 28, 2009



Couldn't blog -- I've been following this guy for two months now! In real life, I'm a Private Detective. This guy's wife said he was cheatin' and she hired me to follow him. (I think I may have been too close). Anyway, he's clean and pretty tight with Santa Claus!

Haste yee back ;-)

Artwork copyright of Robert Wahl

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Save some for me...

This is our dog, Bay, a German Shorthaired Pointer watchin' me and Mrs. Haste yee back ;-) eat supper! How can you refuse? How can you?

Haste yee back ;-)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Bad Boy...

You want... a piece


Artwork coypright of Robert Wahl

Friday, July 3, 2009

Mother Nature says...

Mother Nature’s a bit frazzled; it’s hard work with Global Warming and all. She emailed me, and since I’m the only one with her portrait, she wants me to tell y’all how to “festivate” this 4th of July.

To the parents: Keep your fat butts off the ponies - let the kids ride. Don’t hire scary clowns. No fireworks close to brown grass. Stay sober and leave your neighbor’s wife/husband alone. Put your ciggs/cigars out in your beer cup, (sacrifice last swallow as a douser). Check that grandma/grandpa in wheelchair is not in the hot sun and is still breathing. Poison Ivy is not a house plant – leaves of three, let it be. Even though it’s organic, pick up dog doodle. Try and act like you have more than three functional brain cells. On the way home - keep it between the telephone poles!

To the Kids: Be kind to critters smaller than you. Don’t pee in the pool!

That's all.

Haste yee back ;-)

All artwork copyright of Robert Wahl

Thursday, June 18, 2009

What am I doing now?

First, thank you all for visiting. A little quiz, if you please... What am I doing now...

0) No one cares...

1) My new hemorrhoid therapy...

2) Mrs. Haste yee back declared me, non compos mentis...

3) It was something I said, ate, or did...

4) Do-it-yourself project done wrong...

5) Pilates...

6) I suck at Cats-n-the-Cradle...

7) Mrs. Haste yee back insisted I bathe...

8) I just landed a Lit Agent...

9) I'm flossing...

10) I'm recovering from query letter writing...

Please vote so I know what I'm doing!

Haste yee back ;-)

Art copyright by Robert Wahl

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Characters in my life... real and imaginary

I worked my way through college. Freshman year my first job was cafeteria table police, where I separated done eating students playing cards from want to eat students. She, my future wife, I busted and busted again, another time, and then again. JoAnn, as she’s called, simply wasn't taking lunch seriously. (A serious student ate then politely left, allowing others to squat and gobble.)JoAnn and her side-kick, Nancy (dyed-n-the-wool New Yorker, living on Bleeker St. across from NYU) were recalcitrant recidivists. To the right is a mug shot of JoAnn in her dress up prison garb. (And to think she was National Honor Society material)!

Below is me exactly one year before I crossed paths with the one who didn’t understand NO! STOP! DESIST! OKAY, GIVE ME THE CARDS, JOANN! I was just your average Jock. They gave me a special sports jacket with a University badge hoping to increase my commanding presence and easing my job as playing card confiscator.

Off and on we He’d and She’d for four years. Finally, we nailed it down to each other and set our sights on San Francisco. Hell, it’s 1969, where else would we go. After all, I had convinced JoAnn Telegraph Ave. leading to U.C. Berkeley was the center of the Universe. And we’d be just across the Bay where Haight-Ashbury was the other center of the Universe. JoAnn (the National Honor Society chick) never questioned my logic describing a Universe with two centers. Below is my hand drawn portrait of us as we wandered... between the two centers.

Finally the day came for connubial bliss. Yes, we marched off to San Francisco's courthouse and were married by the guy below. As I recall, it was the Judges' first civil ceremony and he suffered a mini panic attack. So, I said, " Hey, slow down Hoss! Sit. Take three deep breaths!" He said, "I've got something better than that." I don't know what it was, but everything went strange. And as we said goodbye, I swear he looked like this!

The years passed. Oh, how quickly they pass. I think it was my father, or perhaps a pet turtle, but one of them said. "If ya live long enough you're gonna get old. Expect changes... all kinds of changes. Mrs. Haste yee back pursued a career in Social Work and came away with a CPA. Don't ask. I don't know how ya do that either. Anyway, here's a picture of me coming home after a long day mining words: note sack, pick and that rejected writer look.

And here's Mrs. Haste yee back welcoming me home. She's changed too. See the look of delight on her face as she knows, in her heart, her Old Man's got a sack of righteous words for a book that'll change their lives. I
mean, money over the transom. Note the chest with lock behind her. She believes in me and that's where she's gonna keep her money when I make it!

I've gotta wrap this, so it's gonna go quick now. Below is my sketch of Mrs. Haste Yee back when I forgot our 28th Anniversary and her nose hadn't grown so long. Don't know why she's so peevish. She once said let's forget the whole thing!

Now, this is my interpretation of what Mrs. Haste yee back says I look like when I'm HUNGRY! I don't think I do. But she stood over me and directed every line I drew until she grinned with satisfaction. First of all, I don't have that much hair anymore!

But, when all is said and done, we still feel young and love each other! Mrs. Haste yee back once told me I was better than nothin.!

Haste yee back ;-)

All art copyrighted to Robert Wahl

Friday, May 8, 2009

Anyone listening?

Just started this thing and have no idea where it'll go! For starters, google Haste yee back ;-) I've written some outrageously stupid responses to subjects posted on Literary Agents blogs. If you wanna laugh at, or with me - go read 'em!

Also visit, http//www.jacketflap.com/profile.asp?member=PYXX

You'll find some of my illustrations. I hope you enjoy them, if ya don't, turn your head sideways, cross your eyes, take another look. It might get better, but I don't guarantee it. I'll be putting more art up as time goes by... some finished, some sketches, some blank pages 'cause nothin' happened that day, or my drawing parts went on unannounced vacation. (As I get older, I find more of my parts doin' this. Vexing)!

Now, I'm gonna check out, Settings, Layout and Monetize. Then hit view Blog. Hope I don't scare myself.

Keep it between the telephone poles...

Haste yee back ;-)